You still hurt me

Funny to think that last year, at this time, that I was very happy and comfortable with my relationship with Levi. Went my entire first semester of college this way too, and then it all started to fall apart the second semester. Our schedules were never in sync, therefore we never got to talk. We had such boring lives that we knew what each other was doing without asking anyways. He was working and I was doing some project. And then it was the same fight over and over again. In reality it is the best thing for us to be broken up, especially since he is here and I'm am there. Maybe it will only be a break, but who knows? I am not too happy with the way it ended though. I mean, REALLY? Over Facebook? Who does that? That is lower than sending a break up text. I mean we were together for three and a half years! You would think there would have been enough respect to do it in person. We talked after and talked about working it out to at least being able to be friends eventually, but he doesn't seem to be trying very hard. Doesn't seem like he's upset at all in fact. Surely he is, right?  

Wish we had taken more pictures together. 

When You'd Think of Me

Today has not been very eventful. I laid in bed for the entire morning, decided to get up and do something with my life... but didn't want that to include any type of school work. So, I decided that I should go workout since I didn't know what else to do. Came back, took a shower, and then did some trigonometry homework. That was the only homework that I have done. That's really awful since I have a 1000 word paper due on Monday and a two page paper due on Tuesday. Not to mention I have to come up with eight different styles of drawing... I can only think of two.

Because I was already procrastinating, I decided to go to Sugar Brown's and be semi social, plus there was going to be live music. Well, I got there and the place was packed. Every seat was taken so I had to stand there sipping on my large blended hazelnut latte and listened. I decided that I really liked this girl and went up to the table and bought her CD for $5. After I had my purchase, I went back to standing in my little space when this girl at the table turned and asked how much the CD was. Well, we got to talking a little bit and I come to find out that her name was also Kaitlyn! Spelled the same way and everything! After talking a little bit more, we slowly found out how similar we were... it was a little crazy.

• Her name was Kaitlyn. 
• Doesn't really go by Kait or any other nickname aside from her parents.
• She goes to Tech.
• Came from Amarillo.
• Loves dogs.
• Loves to people watch.
• Would rather watch a movie than go party.
• Doesn't see the point of paying $3,000 to be in a sorority.
• Loved band.
• Played the clarinet.
• Could have been studying rather than sitting at SB's sipping on coffee and listening to the music.

We're basically the same person! Kind of... But, it was a lot of fun, and I hope that I run into her at SB soon!

It was so nice to meet someone. I was feeling very lonely all day. Shelbey and Lauren had both gone back to Amarillo. The only people that I could absolutely call my best friends here. They are awesome. I love them. But, anyways, I was proud of myself for actually continuing the conversation. I could have just answered her question about the CDs, but I was so desperate to talk to somebody that I then asked if she went to Tech too. Maybe I'm growing up! 

Anyways, for Lent this year, I gave up fried foods and sodas. The sodas lasted for awhile, but I eventually started sneaking one in every now and then. But, I weighed myself today and I have lost THREE whole pounds! I haven't worked out at all since I started either! So, I decided that if I start working out at least five times a week that I will hopefully lose some more! Hopefully inches too! It's really encouraging to keep doing this when you actually see results. Makes you want to cary on and helps you turn down that soda and makes that salad your shoving down taste a whole lot better. 

I plan on going to work out again tomorrow, as a break from my papers and other homework. But, until the next post, look up Alissa Beyer on iTunes. She's pretty dang good. Better live, but still good. 

Oh! And I think that I should add that I GOT IN TO COMMUNICATION DESIGN!!! I am extremely excited and feeling more confident in my choice in major and career path. I believe that I am going to stick with it. Too much stress, thought, and work have been put into those projects for me to not continue in it. 

Set Fire to the Rain

TIP: If you do not own Adele's new CD 21, you need to. I have been playing it nonstop for the past 5 days. Set Fire to the Rain is the best if you don't want to buy the entire CD though.

So, most stressful, nerve wracking, emotional roller coaster of my life. I have this Portfolio Review/Interview coming up on Friday that determines if this entire first year of college has been a waste of time or not. Whether or not I may continue to pursue a Graphic Design career.

I shouldn't say that it would be a waste of a year if I don't get in. I will have learned:

1. That art is not my calling.
2. How to draw fairly well with no art class or any type of artistic background.
3. How to appreciate artists.
4. That artists are not pot heads (for the most part, at least) who create anything and call it art. They are actually super, duper smart. They really are genius's. 
5. How to be patient when doing a project.
6. How to be patient, period. 
7. That there is a difference between nude and naked.
8. I now have a steadier hand.
9. I know my way around Hobby Lobby fairly well.
10. I have also found out that art supplies are INCREDIBLY expensive. 
11. That everyone is creative. You just have to channel you child self and work you imagination back into shape.
12. Every dumb project has a tiny skill that you eventually learn.

This entire semester I have been going back and forth on if I really wanted to be a graphic designer or not. For a little while I was thoroughly convinced that this was not what I wanted to do. I wanted to help people in a different way. I wanted to be some kind of nurse, partially because I have always thought that scrubs were cute and that they are probably comfy. But, after talking with my sister she said that she kind of regrets that she didn't follow through with architecture. That she is now convinced that she got out only because she was tired with all of the projects. So, after letting that sink in for awhile I began doing research on what graphic designers do and how many different kinds of jobs you can do with that degree. It really started to get me excited again about what I was working for. I guess it's just really hard to see if this is where you want to be when you are taking classes with future Leonardo da Vinci's and Raphael's and Caravagio's that have had all of these past experiences in art and you have had none. It has slowly made sense to me that what all I have learned, and the tiny lessons in each project have really come together to make me more creative. It's something that I have really had to practice. 

Also, it has also helped because I went to talk to my advisor about double majoring in graphic design AND accounting. His first reaction, "OH! Oh... Well... First of all, they are both demanding majors that have very specific degree plans, and... well... I would be worried for your mental and physical health, plus your GPA." But after I had went and talked to a business advisor about it who said that I could take classes in the summer and stuff and then do the upper level accounting core after I get the degree in Communication Design. Although it is a little depressing that I wouldn't graduate remotely close to 4 years, it comforts me that it is possible to double major and that when I do graduate that in any town, anywhere, I would always be able to have a job. So, now that I'm really wanting to get into the Communication Design program I am worried that I won't. (I promise I'm not bipolar, to my knowledge that it.) 

My interview is on Friday at 8:40 AM. They send out the results Friday night after all the interviews are over. So, some people will get it on Saturday, and some won't get it until Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday. I'm praying that mine comes on Saturday. I feel like I'm going to get the letter and stare at it and will be afraid to open. And once I do open it, I will cry. I will cry tears of joy or tears of sad, depression. I hope it's joy...

LIFE DECISIONS PEOPLE!

Wish me luck! :-)

Cyclone

I'm rethinking everything right now. What I really want. If Communication Design really where I want to be? I don't know what else I would do... Except nursing appeals to me for some reason. And I know I shouldn't do this to myself, but I don't want to go to nursing because EVERYONE is there. It's really cool when somebody asks you what your major is and are intrigued when you say "graphic design." Super bad of me to be this way. Also, if I switch, that is an ENTIRE YEAR that I have wasted on freaking art. None of these classes that I have taken will benefit me. But I like taking care of people. I always enjoyed it when the lifeguards would bring me a kid and ask me to fix them because they can't handle blood. Plus, I have always thought that scrubs were cool--don't ask me why. Maybe I could be some kind of specialist nurse with children or something. I don't know.

Anyways, in the past two days I have started working out. I had always talked the talk but I never did any of the work to get in shape. I decided that I had to make it apart of my day, kind of like a class that I had to go to and couldn't skip. It has to be apart of my schedule. Sure, on days that I have projects due on the next day I might have to skip, but that cannot be my excuse everyday. Also, it really isn't THAT bad to go jog on the treadmill for 20 minutes, especially when there is a TV a foot away from your face. It distracts me from thinking about what I am actually doing. I am also wearing that belly band that makes your midsection sweat incredibly that I bought last semester. Hopefully that will speed up shedding a couple inches around there. I hope that by spring break I am looking thinner and am weighing lighter. I weighed myself today and I weigh 143. That is 20 pounds more than I weighed during the beginning of senior year. It's time that that comes off.

I'm supposed to go home next weekend for Melany's birthday... But I'm really beginning to think that I won't be able to make it. I just know that I will have a couple more projects added to my plate and probably another paper. I don't know though. Also, we are dressing up for bowling and I have no dress to wear to this. Plus, there is the issue of money. Money for gas. Money to eat at Bonzai. Money for a movie. Money for bowling. Money for a dress (if I even have time to go look for one). And this will all be on Friday night. How am I going to get there in time to do all of this?

Kaitlyn

-I also decided that since I never know what to put as a title, it will be whatever I am listening to at that time.

-Does anyone else get flashbacks when they here Cyclone by Baby Bash ft T-Pain? Just wondering.

Anger

I hate when you make everything pretty and proportional when you type the post and then after you post it looks ugly. Blogger and I have a love/hate relationship.

Booya!

I have fabricated a new system for this new semester and it has been working very well. So well that I am seriously thinking that I have time to add just ONE more daily activity for me to do. Working out.

My weekly schedule right now is:

Monday
8:00-10:50    Drawing II
12:00-12:50  Trigonometry
2:00-2:50      Art History II
5:00              Dinner with MaKaila
                     Homework

Tuesday
12:00-2:50   Design Process
3:00-5:50     Design II
                    Homework

Wednesday

8:00-10:50    Drawing II

12:00-12:50  Trigonometry

2:00-2:50      Art History II

                     Homework

6:00-8:00      Awanas

                     Homework

Thursday

12:00-2:50   Design Process

3:00-5:50     Design II

                    Homework

8:00-10:00   Paradigm

                    Homework

Friday

12:00-12:50  Trigonometry

2:00-2:50      Art History II

                     A choice between: homework, Shelbey and Lauren, Lacey's, or going home (if I can).

Saturday

Sleep in

Homework 

A choice between: homework, Shelbey and Lauren, or Lacey's.

Sunday

Homework all day, because chances are that I will procrastinate until this day.

Normally my homework load is enough to keep this busy ALL THE TIME. But, the last two nights I have been done with my homework by ten, and that never used to happen. So, maybe if I throw in some work outs maybe I will get fit again and also keep up in school. I have been eating healthier and less. Maybe this is the reason for my motivation to get things done faster. 

So, BOOOYA!